A winding neighborhood walking path beneath sycamore trees and beside leafy Craftsman gardens.

Coping Skills That Hold Up

What to do when the way you have been coping has stopped working.

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Start Here

Everyone Is Already Coping

Scrolling, overworking, drinking, staying busy, snapping, sleeping all weekend. These are coping skills too. They worked for a while, which is why you kept them.

The trouble comes when the cost outgrows the relief. Lack of coping skills is one of the top reasons people come to Tatiana, and she begins by asking what your current strategy does for you before she suggests taking it away.

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Four Kinds Worth Having

In the moment: grounding, breathing, stepping outside
Thinking: catching the thought and checking it against the facts
Connection: telling someone the true answer to how are you
Maintenance: sleep, food, movement, and time away from screens

Practice

How to Build One

Choose One
Pick something small enough that you will actually do it on a bad day.
Rehearse on a Good Day
Try it when you are at a three out of ten, so it is familiar at a seven.
Notice What Happens
Keep what helps, and drop what does not. There is no correct list.

When Coping Skills Are Not Enough

If you are using every skill and still barely holding on, that is information, not failure. Talk to a clinician about what else may be going on. In a crisis, call or text 988, or call 911.